Mama Said Knock You Out

You know, I saw this story the other day just in passing, barely mentioned, and I hadn't heard anything since, so I think I just chose to disbelieve. But someone found my site today searching for "Shaquille O'Neal" and "boxing", and then it came back to me. I did some searching on my own, and damn if it isn't true.

Shaquille O'Neal is going to fight. And he's going to fight the Light Heavyweight Champion of The World.

Oh, they're calling it a charity event, but hey, we all saw that Rocky movie where Rocky got into this charity fight with a wrestler named Thunderlips (which gained an Oscar nomination for the stirring portrayal by Hulk Hogan), and we all know what happened: Rocky got his ass kicked. Now granted, this is a little different. Antonio Tarver is much smaller than the Big Diesel, and of course it's real life, but there's nothing Tarver could ever do to gain more notoriety than leaving Shaq bleeding and unconscious on the canvas. Not to mention, Shaq could trip and fall, he could break his hand, throw out his shoulder. A whole assortment of potential calamities await.

The event is scheduled for this Friday, in Orlando, to benefit the Odessa Chambliss Quality of Life Fund, which provides a scholarship for individuals seeking careers in nursing, but we know better. A closer look reveals that if you rearrange the letters in Odessa Chambliss Quality of Life, you're only an R,N, and G away from spelling Orlando Magic. And doesn't RN stand for Nurse? G must be for all of the Gs the Magic have lost since Shaq bolted the Orlando area. What a scam! We can't let the Magic and those nurses get away with it!

This must be stopped. And there's only one way.

Below is the link to win a ticket for the event (Obviously, they don't want the public there to witness the carnage). It's only good until midnight, and this site doesn't get many visitors, so we don't have much a chance. But if you come across this in time, please enter, so we can have someone in the audience who can maybe talk some sense into Shaq, or dive in front of one of Antonio's punches.

Shaq's Mama Said Knock You Out Event